Homesick

For some reason I feel homesick. Its weird because it has been developing all day and right now it has gotten overwhelming. I cannot wait until saturday when I finally get to see my family and be home for a small period of time. I feel horrible because I want to see my family. I feel like I have missed so much that I feel left out. My cousins have gone to many places together and I am not there to experience it. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. It makes me sad because I feel like I am no longer in the picture and that they are having fun while I am in this horrible thing called institute. I feel angry because I feel like I am the only one in my family who has really gone out of her comfort zone and have done something new and different. I feel like my brother and cousins are stuck in their same ways and just do not want to leave their little bubble of tarrytown, ossining, and sleepy hollow. I have been the only one who has gone away for college and my cousin Jess also went away for college but is about an hr and a half away. But she is back home almost every weekend so it doesnt even matter. I am the only one who feels like I have abandoned them for my own ambitions and I do not know how to get out of this mindset.
I need to focus for 2 more day but I cant. I do not know how right now.